Procrastination or Termination!! Really don't have the answer...

Have you ever thought of why relationships become abusive towards the end despite of the commitment, satisfaction and investment are seen to be of higher magnitude when the relationship was in good shape!! Even in many cases the past relationship affects the well being of the current relationship. I would like to share a real life incident here in which me and one of my close (in the sense we were into the relationship since almost last 6 years) friend became severely abusive as and when the relationship was terminated for some seriously offensive deeds of her.

It is often seen that the nature and style of past breakups were particularly salient mediating variables such that past solidarity was predictive of future relationship commitment and satisfaction only and only when breakups were mutual and somewhat ambiguous. I always believe that past is always past which can never be changed so as far as sharing of relationship histories with each other, some things are better left unsaid. But that doesn’t solely mean that after meeting with each other both the entities involved in the relationship are not accountable for each and every happening in their respective lives.

Ending a relationship is never easy, the dilemma is whether to continue or to terminate and if to terminate then when is the time ripe? These days even ending a relationship with keeping the dignity of both the involved individual is almost an impossible proposition. There are good ways and not so good ways of ending up a relationship but I also believe procrastinating is never a welcome decision.

By nature we are driven towards relationships. It is not healthy to live in isolation. We’re built to transmit ideas and feelings like no other beings in the world. And yet, because there is so much room for misunderstanding, we still have serious problems communicating and resolving issues. That’s when anger enters as nature’s warning. Not dealt with, anger wears away at the bonds of a union.

Acknowledging that a relationship is going wrong is one of the most difficult and important realizations we can have. Anger threatens our relationships – and unresolved anger or resentment leads to generalized irritation, which lays the groundwork for a negative environment where arguments are bound to happen. Confronting our anger might be uncomfortable, but without doing anything our thoughts can put our relationship in peril.

The unanswerable question is how can we solve the problem creatively without blaming each other? I didn’t have any solution do you have one?

To live in a lie or to die for a truth!!

Why truth is always bitter? Why do we have to tell lies (even if not required at times) often or why can’t we tell a truth always!! These are kinds of unreciprocated queries that run in our mind since the time we start understanding the intricacies of life.

As per me in the perpetual universe there are two kinds of lie/truth (as I also understand there is only one truth and truth is nothing but the truth) depending on the consequence or acceptance of the same. A truth/lie can get someone benefited or might cause harm to someone. But since our childhood we are often said that “Never ever afraid to tell the truth even if you have to die for that”. The oriya version of this being “Sata kahibaku kiyan daribi,sata kahi pachhe male maribi”. So the need of the hour is to tell the truth in the nicest way possible or being political by knowing how to sugar coat it!!

Why is it bitter? This is because of several reasons like:

· We can’t accept it.

· We consider it as absolute but we often forget that its relative (dependent on past and future events)

· The reality is the truth and that is what we’ve never ever expected or wanted.

· No one loves to believe something bad about him/her self.

Finally everyone tries to prove his/her point so no one admits being wrong at any point of time.

Recently I was watching a reality show on TV which is the localized version of famous American TV show “The Moment of Truth” hosted by famous Hollywood actor Mark Wahlberg and the Indian version is being anchored by the very talented Rajeev Khandelwal. The contestants on the show are asked private questions and even they don’t hesitate to share their bedroom secrets in front of the camera.

What ever may be the reason? Be it for money or be it for self-actualization which would lead to a healthy post-show life and that will act towards the betterment of the society (as proclaimed by the host of the show in several TV interviews).Its a billion dollar question that is India as a society ready for such a confession?The original version of the show has several setbacks like broken marriages, soured relationships etc. and even in some countries it has been stopped being aired. I hope the I&B ministry follows that closely.

Lastly there is a saying “When you tell the truth, you have nothing to hide”. These few words simplify the above discussed matter in a single line. Isn’t it?

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IPL Vs Poll!! A Silly Controversy....

If one were to take a referendum in India as to whether the people want elections or IPL, I have little doubt our people, for most of whom cricket is a religion will opt for IPL. Our politicians have, over the years miserably failed to take the message of democracy to the electorate. They, the people of India are taking democracy and elections for granted. It is a sad state of affairs.

In no other country in the world, can you ever find such a silly controversy as this. Of course, the issue arose out of the need for security. Gone are the days when you can walk freely on the roads in broad daylight!!When you go to a theatre, Hyderabad haunts you. When you visit a five-star hotel, Mumbai haunts you. When you go to the Railway Station, Godhra or London frightens you. The list doesn’t end here. The terrorists have made every nook and corner of this globe, including our sweet homes, a dangerous place.

As for the media, especially the Television both will individually boost their TRP ratings. And, if they are held simultaneously, viewers can swap between cricket and polls. To the television viewers and the TV moguls, there cannot be a better opportunity!

And though officially BCCI, an apparently non-governmental body is organizing the IPL, teams are owned by corporate houses or stinking-rich film stars. It is out and out a commercial proposition. And they want the Government to provide security. They cite the Pakistan blasts in their support and argue that if we postpone the IPL, it will give out a wrong signal to the world, the international community will club India along with other countries of the region. And therefore, in order to ‘prove’ to the whole world that we are a terror-free society, we should have hold the IPL matches.

Aditya_J

The Offshore Model!! A Slapdash on Loyal Fans...

This will be the first time a domestic tournament will be held abroad from start to finish. The IPL brought about a revolution in cricket in its first year. Will the second season lead to another??American sports have experimented with offshore matches with a degree of success. The National Football League staged its first regular-season match outside the United States in 2005 in Mexico City. It then took the game outside North America when Miami Dolphins played the New York Giants at Wembley Stadium in London in October 2007.

Way back in 2003, Montreal Expos, the Canadian-based Major League Baseball team, played 22 of their home games in San Juan, Puerto Rico, where they drew over a million fans for the first time since 1997. But the next year the MLB relocated the franchise to Washington DC, where the team became the Washington Nationals.

Of course, the IPL is not merely a domestic tournament. It is a life-altering phenomenon in cricket. It is domestic only in the sense that it is controlled by the BCCI, which also benefits the most from it; but it has felt like an unstoppable force, with the power to affect every aspect of international cricket. In so many ways, it already has. And that's why the attention of the cricket world has been riveted on the discussions, or rather the lack of them, between the IPL's organisers and the Indian government over the security arrangements.

On the face of it, the relocation is a huge setback for the IPL. It was a tournament founded on the concept of City Loyalties, and the finest aspect of the first season, apart from the quality of the cricket, was the response it generated from local fans. The money was made from television, but the real success of the tournament was felt in the stands. It was impossible to watch a game in the stadium and not be infected with the new kind of fervor and enjoyment these games engendered. Taking the games away would be to deny them their natural habitat.

How can games that are held at Durban or Johannesburg feel like the Indian Premier League? Would that not reduce the whole thing to another soulless event held solely for the benefit of a television audience?

At the same time, the organisers were left with no choice. There was no other space for the tournament in the international calendar, and the cost of not holding it was immense. But with the government refusing to provide a categorical assurance about security, and in fact giving every indication that it would prefer the tournament to be postponed, the risk of going ahead with it in India as scheduled was even greater.

It can be argued that the organizers were either blasé or lethargic in dealing with the situation. The Mumbai attacks should have been warning enough, and that the elections were to be held in April-May 2009 had been known for months. Of course, the recent attack on Sri Lankan cricketers brought about the chilling realization that cricket was no longer beyond the pale of terrorism, and forced a reassessment of the situation, but the feeling persists still that the IPL's coordination with the government agencies was at best ham-handed, and at worst clouded by a clash of egos.By no means should it have taken so long to figure out that the tournament could not be held in the first place?

More than anything else, this move will leave cricket pondering the wider implications. As a positive, it might provide a template for, and hasten the process of, Pakistan's home games being played in England or elsewhere. And if the tournament succeeds beyond drawing eyeballs on television, it could end up expanding the IPL's base and providing a tangible alternative for all subcontinent teams in these uncertain times. Even the most loyal Indian supporters will agree that these parts are far more chaotic and inherently prone to security lapses than the developed nations. The bombings in London in 2005 were an exception.

But in the end it is as inconceivable to think of cricket without India as it is to imagine India without cricket. Not only is India cricket's economic powerhouse, but despite all the flaws of its administrators and the excesses of its fans, nowhere else is the game more alive, more vibrant, and followed more passionately. The IPL happened to get its timing wrong, but for its own sake, cricket must must return home.

Aditya_J