Have you ever thought of why relationships become abusive towards the end despite of the commitment, satisfaction and investment are seen to be of higher magnitude when the relationship was in good shape!! Even in many cases the past relationship affects the well being of the current relationship. I would like to share a real life incident here in which me and one of my close (in the sense we were into the relationship since almost last 6 years) friend became severely abusive as and when the relationship was terminated for some seriously offensive deeds of her.
It is often seen that the nature and style of past breakups were particularly salient mediating variables such that past solidarity was predictive of future relationship commitment and satisfaction only and only when breakups were mutual and somewhat ambiguous. I always believe that past is always past which can never be changed so as far as sharing of relationship histories with each other, some things are better left unsaid. But that doesn’t solely mean that after meeting with each other both the entities involved in the relationship are not accountable for each and every happening in their respective lives.
Ending a relationship is never easy, the dilemma is whether to continue or to terminate and if to terminate then when is the time ripe? These days even ending a relationship with keeping the dignity of both the involved individual is almost an impossible proposition. There are good ways and not so good ways of ending up a relationship but I also believe procrastinating is never a welcome decision.
By nature we are driven towards relationships. It is not healthy to live in isolation. We’re built to transmit ideas and feelings like no other beings in the world. And yet, because there is so much room for misunderstanding, we still have serious problems communicating and resolving issues. That’s when anger enters as nature’s warning. Not dealt with, anger wears away at the bonds of a union.
Acknowledging that a relationship is going wrong is one of the most difficult and important realizations we can have. Anger threatens our relationships – and unresolved anger or resentment leads to generalized irritation, which lays the groundwork for a negative environment where arguments are bound to happen. Confronting our anger might be uncomfortable, but without doing anything our thoughts can put our relationship in peril.
The unanswerable question is how can we solve the problem creatively without blaming each other? I didn’t have any solution do you have one?
2 comments:
I thought a bit before writing these. Direct answer might solve this problem but will not solve the similar ones that are waiting ahead. Read these lines carefully.
- Don’t try to solve a problem when no one needs it to be solved.
- Don’t answer to the questions that are put in front but do it them who really in need of your answers.
- Don’t help people who ask for, help them who are less likely to commit again.
- You can really never explain anything to anyone but other can understand you.
- When all are bothering then at least you yourself don’t do the same to you.
I hope it will help you to find one answer.
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