Monday, July 20, 2009

Procrastination or Termination!! Really don't have the answer...

Have you ever thought of why relationships become abusive towards the end despite of the commitment, satisfaction and investment are seen to be of higher magnitude when the relationship was in good shape!! Even in many cases the past relationship affects the well being of the current relationship. I would like to share a real life incident here in which me and one of my close (in the sense we were into the relationship since almost last 6 years) friend became severely abusive as and when the relationship was terminated for some seriously offensive deeds of her.

It is often seen that the nature and style of past breakups were particularly salient mediating variables such that past solidarity was predictive of future relationship commitment and satisfaction only and only when breakups were mutual and somewhat ambiguous. I always believe that past is always past which can never be changed so as far as sharing of relationship histories with each other, some things are better left unsaid. But that doesn’t solely mean that after meeting with each other both the entities involved in the relationship are not accountable for each and every happening in their respective lives.

Ending a relationship is never easy, the dilemma is whether to continue or to terminate and if to terminate then when is the time ripe? These days even ending a relationship with keeping the dignity of both the involved individual is almost an impossible proposition. There are good ways and not so good ways of ending up a relationship but I also believe procrastinating is never a welcome decision.

By nature we are driven towards relationships. It is not healthy to live in isolation. We’re built to transmit ideas and feelings like no other beings in the world. And yet, because there is so much room for misunderstanding, we still have serious problems communicating and resolving issues. That’s when anger enters as nature’s warning. Not dealt with, anger wears away at the bonds of a union.

Acknowledging that a relationship is going wrong is one of the most difficult and important realizations we can have. Anger threatens our relationships – and unresolved anger or resentment leads to generalized irritation, which lays the groundwork for a negative environment where arguments are bound to happen. Confronting our anger might be uncomfortable, but without doing anything our thoughts can put our relationship in peril.

The unanswerable question is how can we solve the problem creatively without blaming each other? I didn’t have any solution do you have one?

Friday, July 17, 2009

To live in a lie or to die for a truth!!

Why truth is always bitter? Why do we have to tell lies (even if not required at times) often or why can’t we tell a truth always!! These are kinds of unreciprocated queries that run in our mind since the time we start understanding the intricacies of life.

As per me in the perpetual universe there are two kinds of lie/truth (as I also understand there is only one truth and truth is nothing but the truth) depending on the consequence or acceptance of the same. A truth/lie can get someone benefited or might cause harm to someone. But since our childhood we are often said that “Never ever afraid to tell the truth even if you have to die for that”. The oriya version of this being “Sata kahibaku kiyan daribi,sata kahi pachhe male maribi”. So the need of the hour is to tell the truth in the nicest way possible or being political by knowing how to sugar coat it!!

Why is it bitter? This is because of several reasons like:

· We can’t accept it.

· We consider it as absolute but we often forget that its relative (dependent on past and future events)

· The reality is the truth and that is what we’ve never ever expected or wanted.

· No one loves to believe something bad about him/her self.

Finally everyone tries to prove his/her point so no one admits being wrong at any point of time.

Recently I was watching a reality show on TV which is the localized version of famous American TV show “The Moment of Truth” hosted by famous Hollywood actor Mark Wahlberg and the Indian version is being anchored by the very talented Rajeev Khandelwal. The contestants on the show are asked private questions and even they don’t hesitate to share their bedroom secrets in front of the camera.

What ever may be the reason? Be it for money or be it for self-actualization which would lead to a healthy post-show life and that will act towards the betterment of the society (as proclaimed by the host of the show in several TV interviews).Its a billion dollar question that is India as a society ready for such a confession?The original version of the show has several setbacks like broken marriages, soured relationships etc. and even in some countries it has been stopped being aired. I hope the I&B ministry follows that closely.

Lastly there is a saying “When you tell the truth, you have nothing to hide”. These few words simplify the above discussed matter in a single line. Isn’t it?

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